Rainy day.

Today was a rainy day. The last days, in fact. But today was quite special, because I took a walk by the neighborhood. Just after the rain was over.
It was a gentle rain. Calmed and quiet. And, even though it lasted for a while, I had nothing to do; so I could have it for all the day long. Once it stopped, there it was. That magical world that only appears after the rain.
So I took a walk by the street, to the supermarket and the way back, and I felt the cold wind on my skin. I could hear that noise that the shoes make against the pavement, the

one that you can only hear after the rain. The world was gray and the people were silent. Oh holy silence. I love the peace that brings the rain. It just priceless.
I returned home, after the walk, with a smile on my face.
I love the rainy days.

See you later,
Jhonny.

The perks of being hackneyed.

I don’t know why being original is so hard, sometimes.

There are some days when I’m so sick of being a wallflower that I think << Isn’t the people tired of the same thing, over and over again? >>

For example: if you wanna talk about a book nobody knows, to bring something different to this world, you’re as insivible as Charlie. No wait, even he had some Friends. But if you take the most hackneyed book of the season, then you’ll have all the attention.

It’s so frustrating... But I think it’s a test.

The smarter wins.

Goodbye,

Jhonny.

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This post it's a courtesy of Velvet Verbosity's 100 words challenge.

Speak up.

One of my favorite films is "The Help"
I love everything about it. The history, the script, the actors, the direction, the cinematography, the music, the art department... I love the whole movie.
I think that I have seen it like twenty times. But it was just in that 20th time, that I saw the film, that I really understood one of the most powerful lines of script.
There is this scene, when Skeeter is calling her editor and she is starting to explain her why is she willing to write that book. Because there must be always a reason to write a book. You don't put yourself in front of a computer, for months or years, just because the writing bug bit you. But, what is the right reason to put yourself in the job of writing a book? What is the sign that indicates you that you need to write? That you need to tell that story.

Write about what bothers you. Especially if you're the only one bothered by that.

It's so simply.
We -writers- are the voice of the people. Their way to tell the world what's going on. And what greater way to write a story, that putting on the paper what's wrong with your society. What needs to be fixed. The voices that need to be heard.
I think we lost our loyalty to ourselves. We sold our freedom to the fashion. And let our voices fell in the dephts of entertainment. We exchanged our liberty by safety. But we're not saved in a silent world.

We are not saved... that's the point.

We think that just following the system we are going to be inside a dome.  We don't even understand what the system is, where comes from their rules, for what those rules stand for, where they're gonna take us, why we have to follow them; we're just sheeps.
Meeeeh... to everything we're told, instead of asking "why?"
And is not like you're gonna go asking why to every single word you hear, but at least to those things that you don't understand. That you need to understand before to accept... or decline... or protest against. We need to start writing and/or talking about what bothers us. Especially if we're the only ones in our society bothered by that situation. Because in the singularity is where our real voice exist.
It's our duty. It's our right. It's the source of our liberty.

See you later,
Jhonny.

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This post was written because:

  

And I invite you to be a writter bandit yourself.

Facts... we can't fight it.

In my country, the goverment just signed a pact to protect the life and family.

This pact is against the homosexual marriage. This pact says that marriage is an act just between man and woman. So, the gay marriage is a threat to life and family.

I’m a Christian… and I recognize it is, by far, stupid.

You’re not gonna “protect” anything by forbidding gay rights. They’re people, not animals or things. So they have exactly the same rights that other PEOPLE have.

If you think that homosexuals are wrong, go talk to the heterosexuals who made them.

Goodbye,

Jhonny.

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This post it's a courtesy of Velvet Verbosity's 100 words challenge.

Her.

Her name was Ivonne. She was quite normal. Beautiful, in her own skin. But completely invisible.
She made no sound. Her movements were voiceless. But her eyes were awake. Awake with the dance of the light and thoughts.
She had all the time to see everyone. To study everyone. To know everyone. Without a single word.
She was in control of the room. She was the queen of her realm. Everybody owed her a salute; but she was completely invisible. Blessed with the gift of silence and the guard.
She was the most valuable human in the entire room. The others, talked to much, moved to much, tried to much to impress; when she just remained in her seat.
Nobody cared, not even once, to explore her mind. Her crazy and wild thoughts about the world. But she didn't care. She enjoyed every single day of her invisble life. Because when she became a flame, she would never return to that. She would be too bright.
So there she stood. Seated in her chair. Protecting her realm. Being the queen, in her own mind.

See you later,
Jhonny.

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This post was written because:

  

And I invite you to be a writter bandit yourself.

Fool. Absorbed.

What is truer than the chill that runs along the back of a human being hit by the light of the obvious?
How could he not see it? How could he not be smart enough to suspect it? There he was, illuminated by the rays of truth; sudden. What to do now?

See you later,
Jhonny.

Mornings.

In my neighborhood is really hard to get a ride to the city.

Is like a competition. Like a melee fight, to see who enters the car first.

The thing is that the people is so obsessed to get a place inside that nobody actually thinks. Everyone goes to the same door, and forgets the other one. But, as a intelligent being, I retreat from the crowd and enter by the other door.

When we’re seated inside, everyone takes a look to each other. We are the chosen ones. Our hearts burn with victory.

We’re going to the city.

Goodbye,

Jhonny.

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This post it's a courtesy of Velvet Verbosity's 100 words challege.

Can't you see?

This is pretty new on my blog. I've never talked about a song... actually I can't tell if I never mentioned a song, but I'm sure I've never wrote a whole post about a song.
There's always a first time.
I don't have a picture for this post because, when I heard the song, I just could see myself walking through the darkness. Walking to my wonderwall. Walking to that person.

If I was not myself,
and you were someone else...

I immediately saw us. One in front to the other. Waiting for someone to speak.

I'd say so much to you,
and I would tell the truth.

I would, finally, speak. I can see it. I can see it all.
But I can't imagine what would be the answer. What impression would cause.

Cause I can hardly breathe
when your hands let go of me.

It was like hearing to someone describe my life. My relationship with this person. I could feel my heart beating faster and faster. I could feel my eyes filling with this layer of... tears?
Why? Why it has to be so hard? I feel like...

I'm dead in the water
still looking for you.
I'm dead in the water.
Can't you see?

Did I play so well my part? Did I hide to deep my feelings? I don't think so. I feel like I've been kind of honest. I have not said it all, I know. There's still the biggest part of the story buried in the sand, but I just want to know if...

Can't you see?

I'm here. With my soul under the sun. Wishing I wasn't myself, and you could be someone else.

I'm kind of down, but I'm not completely sad. I know what I have to do. I need to talk with this person and clear up all the stuff in my head. I need to hear those words coming out from that pair of lips. It would be one answer from two options available. The one I fear the most... I know it's not gonna kill me. I will move on. I'm sure about it. I know it will hit me like a bullet, but I will survive.
I just need to do it... and pass the page.

P.S.: If you like the lyrics that I shared with you, they're from "Dead in the water - Ellie Goulding".

See you later,
Jhonny.

The source of all the misunderstandings.

My mom and I were walking back home this afternoon. When I walk by myself, I take the right side of the path; because is the one where my home is. But today, when we got off the bus, we began to walk by the left side.
We kept walking by that side for a long time. We were talking and everything; but my obsessive compulsive soul was screaming "GO TO THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE PATH!"
So I told my mom "You know? why don't we cross the street? I like to walk by that side." And my mom opened her eyes as plates and told me "Me too! I'm walking on here because I thought you want it so. Let's cross right now."
We began to laugh about that, because anyone of us wanted to walk by the left side; but we did it because we had the early thought that the other want it that way. Even though we were making fun of it, I couldn't avoid to overthink all the scene.
"It's so weird! Both of us were doing something that we didn't want to do, thinking that we were pleasing the other; when any of us wanted to walk by the left side. Why we -humans- do this?"
Immediately my mom turned her head to me and said "Because we always take everything for granted. We don't know anything, but we always think we have all the answers. The most of the time that we think that something is one way, it tends to be the opposite."

Relations... and more complicated stuff.

My love life.
It's. A. Total. Mess.
I'm as alone as this tree here!
I even feel sorry for myself, at this point. I'm totally stuck on this thing. By the way, did you see that movie?
Stuck in love.
Where the lead character -the father- is divorced from his wife, like 500 years ago; but he's completely obsessed with her. He stalks her at her house; he sets her place in the table, all the thanksgivings, even though she will never appear; and tells his children that he's still waiting for her. HE'S TOTALLY STUCK.
Well, I'm in the same situation. But mine is even more pathetic, because this woman was his wife; me and this person are the sweetest nothing in the entire world!
We were friends -like 500 years ago-, and now we are miles away from each other. But I can't forget that I fell in love. Just as that song: I can't remember to forget you.
Just as bad as it sounds. I'm drowning.
The thing is that this person is always messing around with all the relations that I "could have". There's always that voice in my head saying: but if you wait a little bit more, maybe, it could happen. And you don't want to be committed with anyone if that happens!

It's insane.
Because I know that it will never -ever- happen.

Like today. I reunited with an old friend, it was amazing. I felt something. That kind of something that could be a big thing. Like a kiss or a french kiss... you know what I mean.
The thing is that, in the whole day, I didn't remember about that person (my wonderwall). I was totally free of that shadow, and I felt so complete with this old friend that I had a lot time without seeing. It was totally perfect.
But at the same moment I said "farewell" and took the bus back home... it hit me.
I, literally, saw this person in my head. This person that I'm totally infatuated with. That person that keeps me in an eternal maybe.

Maybe it could happen.
Maybe you will be received.
Maybe you will hear what you want to hear.
Maybe we could be together.
Maybe there was just a terrible misunderstanding.
Maybe this person is just as shy as you.
Maybe you just need to try harder.
Maybe... Maybe... Maybe...

And that's how all my possible relations get stuck.
I talk with this person once in a while, and I don't feel that it could be anything. I don't feel that anything could be possible. I just feel sorry for myself, because I can't get over it. I'm stuck.
Today was awesome. The best day in many terrible days coming together, lately. In my love life.
I feel that, if I have the opportunity to live another afternoon like this, there will be a kiss. There will be the beginning of a relation... but I'm afraid for how long.

If I needed to take a resolution about this, I think that the only thing to do is having a talk -face to face- with my wonderwall. And finish whatever maybe it could be or never existed.
But I have to confess... I'm afraid. I totally know that it is love. One-sided-love, but love; anyway. And, when we're talking about heart's matters, there will be some kind of pain. Always.

I will try to fix this up. I will try not to be as this man from the movie... or maybe to be like him?
I don't want to give you spoilers, so you have to see the end of the movie.

See you later,
Jhonny.

Hungry for life.

What's up with me now?
The last time I wrote something, it was february 19...
SHAME ON ME!
So, here I am; to put my face in the spotlight and promise not to leave this blog alone anymore.
Bringing the last post to the light, I said that I was going to try a schedule... to live.
I did. It worked... for some weeks.
I realized that I totally suck for schedules.
But don't be disappointed, yet. I failed at the schedule challenge, but I kept the will to use my time properly.
I don't have a schedule to live, but now I'm making me sure that I'll do something everyday. Like "productive" things.
With this new challenge I put together a lot of things.
I wrote three scripts. Not feature film scripts, but I'm really pleased with my shortfilms. I don't know when I'm gonna find a producer for them, but I have them. Complete. And that's an achieved goal.
I read "The adventures of Tom Sawyer". Book that I loved, with my entire soul!
I'm not gonna make a review of it, because -maybe- that's and idea for another blog; but I recommend you to read it. LIKE NOW!
I reorganized my room; that was uneasy to live in, because of the desk. Actually, I got a desk!
I didn't have one before, so every time I took Noah (my computer) to write; it was on my bed. Something more than uncomfortable. Finally, I got a desk -that's actually a breakfast table, but it's something- and placed it in my room.
Before that, it was just my bed, a nighstand, my bookshlef, my wardrobe and the laundry basket. So, for you to have a picture, in my tiny room that was sure enough to have all the place totally filled. Like "one more needle, and this will make a nuclear explosion".
But I put the desk in, by taking off the nightstand. It worked... but it was a mess. I could hardly sit at the desk, and it was even worse trying to go out. So I, taking advantage of my new challenge, reorganized my room; and now I can live in it. As a decent human being.
I keep writting my book, and re-writting; and re-writting what I re-write. But I'm writting it, and I'm pleased with that. The goal is still farway, but I'm on my way.
I immersed myself, once again, in a George R. R. Martin book. "A clash of kings" this time. That is a total monster, I have to say; any book beyond the 800 pages it's not a book anymore. That's a mythological monster threatening you to keep you awake.
But I love GoT, so I gave in.
Oh! I almost forget it. I'm gonna start a career tomorrow.
I'm gonna study literature, because I wanna be a professional writer; and I don't want to be a fool when a publisher ask me: Do you have any experience or even have study before you write this book? I just can imagine my face like: o.O
So, as I studied to write scripts, I'm gonna make myself sure that I'm totally capable of writing a book. A book worthy to be publish.

Basically, I really had succes putting my stuff in order; and I want to continue like this. The only thing left in my list was this little space. My blog.
From now on, I'm gonna be here more often. Sharing with you all my crazy frames.

See you later,
Jhonny.

Making a schedule... to live.

It's getting very difficult to me to put my... time together.
It's like, I found myself doing nothing the most of the time.
Some days I'm doing too much. Like I want to do ten things at the same time. But other days... I'm looking how the facebook wall goes down. The whole day.
I don't have any consistency in my life. And I'm -right now- living a phase of my life that I need to put all my stuff in order. All my inner stuff.
I want to read a lot of books that I purchased, and are getting dust in the bookshelf. I want to finish my book. I want to write and finish a script. A feature film script. I want to write more posts on here. I want to keep going on my booktube channel. I have to edit the booktube channel's videos. I need to bring some new stuff to my photography studio, because -right now- I'm out of work.
There's no one giving me a penny. I'm broke.
So I have all this disorder avoiding me to be a succesful person. I have all this stupid lazyness stopping me to be a functional human. And I don't think that is like just a lazyness issue, I really have a problem with the way I'm taking care about my time. I don't have any -any- schedule to do anything.
I heard, in some reality show (I think that it was the Supernanny. It was definitely while my mom was controling the living room), that we -as humans- need a schedule to follow. Like a whole day plan.
When I wake up, I'm gonna do this. Then I'm gonna do that.
And so on.
Mainly, for people like me. That suck taking care about our time. And all our life becomes a mess.
I'm gonna implement it on me. I will put a schedule for my everyday.
But I'm not gonna take it to far, like making a plan for every second of my life. I will just make an outline of my day, and then I just would need to fill the spaces.
For now, I would like to start the day running... or walking. Something athletic to bring energy to my mornings. Then I would return to write, some days; and read, the others.
I would have a special day to edit my videos. Like spend the whole day -after running- on that. I could edit two videos in one day (that sound great! God, hopefully I could do this). And, in the same way, I would have a special day to take pictures, edit them a little, post them on my page, and remind the people that I'm still in business.
I think in all this, and I know that making a schedule to do all this stuff -that I need to do-, I would have a whole day to spend on nothing. A whole day to be the laziest person on the planet.
That would be like the shit day, on my time's diet.
I like, a lot, how all of this sounds. I'm gonna work on it, right away.
I'm gonna return here to bring you the news about it. Hopefully, they will be good.

See you later,
Jhonny.

P.S.: I posted that picture because, when I saw that door, it shocked me. In a strange way. There are so many stuff. A lot of crazy things, but everything is in it's place. And I inmediately thought: that's what life suppose to look like.